dont read this rant

i feel like shit. thats it really. i piss people oof and they hate my guts. i have nothing myore t type really since all my problems are small and stupid. im considering just deleting my account and staying off TW for a month or two. i just... need a break from everything. but dont we all? yes. we do. if we all had breaks from all the shit the world gave is it would be a pefect fucking world. if the fucking goverment in the USA wasnt so fucking shitty and people had chances at jobs and shit, we wouldnt be in this depression. if people in other fucking countrys had a break, they would get food and shelter and care. but its all just imaginary. the fucking world doesnt owe us shit. were born and die. thats it. nothing we do fucking matters. we could e a doctor and save 20 million lives a day and it wouldnt. fucking. matter. were all gonna die soon enough. why don i just kill myself and bring hat time closer? thats what i should do. kill myself. if i did, the world would just be the most perfect fucking place to be. i bet it would be to everyone. without me, its just another annoyance gone. too bad im too much of a fucking puss to do it my self. im paranoid of death even though i know its inevitable and i welcome it. how much fucking sence does that make? i get home and lock myself in the house and my room. noone can touch me. yet i want to die. i should hire someone to hire someone to kill me on a random day when im walking home but do t when im not expecting it so im not paranoid all the fucking time. i dont een know what the fuck im typein anymore jksyafd,jadsfasdf. im just fedup with the world. i used to be able to get knocked on my ass, brush my shoulders off and get back up and move on. not anymore. i take everything too seriously and i cant take it. i get pissed easily and ive been depressed alot lately. ive been mad more though. for the last few days i wanted to ite a chunk of flesh out of someones arm. if i could, i would. hell ide do it to myself it i wasnt so fucking afraid. well this is too much typeing for anyone to read in one rant. ill leave you guys alone and let you live your life. btw: im deleting my account n monday so dont be surprised if my names not on TW anymore
edit: hey im not deleting my account weeeee now you gys can put up with my annoyance for even longer :D

As if my opinion even matters anymore;

Aaron, you're not annoying. You're one of my best friends. I just wish I knew you in real life so I could help you. ALL of you. You, Haruka and Puru seem like the ones who have had it the hardest. And all I want to do for you guys is be able to help.

Sure, we live and die, but the point of living is whatever you make of it. For one, I enjoy seeing how life around us slowly changes as the years advance. Just like they did before. Technology was improved, the world of music expanded, and transportation is slowly, but surely, growing into something greater. The entire world is moving forward. Everything we do brings us one step closer. No matter what it is, you'll always be moving forward. Every second, we move forward in time. And if you think about it, all we're doing is moving forward. Sure you'd say stuff like "oh but east is just backwards of west", but think about it. You may be moving in a different direction than someone else, but both of you are moving forward. The only thing forward is to a person is whatever you perceive it to be.

tl;dr version: Don't be so hard on yourself. If people don't like you, that's just their opinion. And you don't have to respect them for it if they can't respect you.

And trust me, I'm just about as critical as you are. That's why I have friends. Like Haruka. Like Adam. Like YOU. Yes, I'm talking about you, Aaron. Every time you make me smile, everything about you that makes me laugh keeps me just inches away from declining deeper and deeper into depression. I'm surprised you're not dead after all you've told me about. Seriously, if you've gone through so much and you're STILL here, then I think that's DEFINITELY a sign that you were meant to do something great. You could be like a life survival teacher or some shit, I dunno. A lot of you guys have been through a hell of a lot more than me, I'm sure of that. Hell, you could be a porn artist if you wanted to. But I'm not going to tell you to do anything. The only person that can tell you what to do with your life is you. Sure, you're not going to be good at everything. That doesn't even matter. The only thing that matters is enjoying the things you do. It's your life, so you should make something out of it and enjoy living.