Daily Whine, Number ⑨

Yes folks, it's that time again.
I'm staying up too late, so I feel like a bit of whining.
Brace yourselves!

Alright, so anyways, feeling shitty as usual.
Sometimes I just get vague flashbacks of stupid things I wish I had never done, and it just makes me feel even more stupid for doing them in the first place.
All of my friends are having issues with life, or just becoming depressed.
And it just drives me up the FUCKIN' wall how I can't do anything meaningful to help them.
Half of the time it feels like I just make matters worse.
Danmakufu hasn't been kind to me, and I haven't made any progress on our fangame recently.
I would ask someone for help, but you know how much of a pussy newfag I am to post anywhere.
My lack of self-confidence makes me want to puke.
That, and me not being able to properly take care of my body.
I'm becoming weaker by the second.
Next thing you know, I won't be able to pick anything up other than my own damn self.
I'll just keep slowly killing myself and not even care.
And the only person that would be responsible for it is me.
I don't want anyone else to feel "responsible" for my death at all.
If it were anyone's fault, it should be mine.
And this doesn't just apply here. It applies everywhere.
Really, you guys. Is it that hard to put the blame on me once and a while?
I've gotten so used to it, anyways. It's no trouble at all.
Everyone thinks of me so highly... Why?
Why do you look at me as such a good person?
I mean, I know I seem like one, but I'm not entirely good.
I'm barely any good, actually. I'm being as honest as I can, here.
I just don't understand it anymore. I don't understand ANYTHING anymore.
I really don't...