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 Just... Why?

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PostSubject: Just... Why?   Thu Aug 19, 2010 3:25 am

Some fitting music, if you guys are into that stuff.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Everything is happening all at once right before my eyes, and I can't do anything about it... Some friend I am. Should I just give up? Should I end it all right now? No, that'd make me even worse of a friend. I just hate the fact that my friends are going through so much crap right now... It makes me feel horrible not being able to do anything but sit and watch. I think I should just get away from it all. Should I isolate myself from the world? I mean, nobody would have to worry about me. Or take care of me. Or care about me. I'd be independent, just like I used to want to be. But if I did that, I wouldn't end up surviving a week... Why is it people care about me so much, anyways? I tell them not to worry, and that everything will be fine. Is it my fault? Am I just not trustworthy? I don't want people to worry about me. My advice: worry about more important people who need it. Every single time, it blows over the next day. It's just a cycle with me. I can't be helped. And it's not a normal cycle. I'm getting deeper. And deeper. I can feel it starting to get worse. Should I be helping myself more than I try to help others? I always feel like I should be putting others before myself, especially with my friends and family. That's why I don't eat as much as I'm supposed to. I'm ruining my own body. I'm practically torturing myself. And I'm fully aware. I haven't bothered to do anything about it. I'm going to die some day, so what point is there? I've just been created to waste away. Why would God put me on this earth for such a reason? People tell me I have talent, people say I'm good at things. But just look around. Dozens of people are much better at doing everything I do. So is there really much more of a point to my life? Nothing I do means anything anymore. I'm just sitting here, wasting away. Just a waste of precious matter. Just think, someone else could've been made from my matter. Someone who could've lived their life instead of whittling it away. I just want to relive my childhood again. I want to go back. Back to when things were brighter. When the grass was always green. I know it sounds cheesy, but I do. I'm tired of this life, and all I've been doing is wasting it. I wish I could go back. I'd change everything. Maybe I would be a better person. Or maybe I could be a worse person and bring myself closer to isolation. Which would you choose? Would you rather have a better me, or a world where I didn't exist? Of course, you'd still want me. But go back. Back to before you even met me. What would you choose then? You wouldn't know what to choose, because you wouldn't have known me back then. It'd be like I never existed to you, anyways. Maybe then things would be better for me. For everyone. Maybe I should erase myself from existance right now. I'll ask you guys three last questions before I head off.

Would you rather have me off or not?

If not, would you really miss me?

And if yes, why?

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Last edited by Momiji on Thu Aug 19, 2010 4:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Just... Why?   Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:38 am

Would you rather have me off or not? nooo stay here. :c

If not, would you really miss me? yessss~

And if yes, why? fffff just don't go because ffff I don't even know how to explain it you're just one of our friends and we feel pretty bad about not being able to help you too and stuff. :cc

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PostSubject: Re: Just... Why?   Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:24 pm

Would you rather have me off or not?
No, stay.

If not, would you really miss me?
Of course.

And if yes, why?
You're a valuable friend, not just to me, but to many others here. That's why we care about you. I've always thought that the purpose of life is to enjoy it as much as possible while you still have it (yep, i haven't been doing that much, but you can change your life for the better at any moment). And so what if you're not the best at things? Book authors make millions even though they're not the best writers- there is always going to be someone better than you at something, but that doesn't mean you can't succeed at anything.

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PostSubject: Re: Just... Why?   Thu Aug 19, 2010 3:36 pm

Pasta wrote:
Would you rather have me off or not?
No, stay.

If not, would you really miss me?
Of course.

And if yes, why?
You're a valuable friend, not just to me, but to many others here. That's why we care about you. I've always thought that the purpose of life is to enjoy it as much as possible while you still have it (yep, i haven't been doing that much, but you can change your life for the better at any moment). And so what if you're not the best at things? Book authors make millions even though they're not the best writers- there is always going to be someone better than you at something, but that doesn't mean you can't succeed at anything.

This. D:
Nick you're one of the best friends I've ever had if you left I would akluoifhawejfoaishdnflkajsdlgkh ;A;
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